Losing things

So I spent an hour and a half looking for my passport last night. I found it, after all this time, in a random and very confusing drawer containing:

• a satin dress I have worn once
• a very tight jumper I can't wear any more because it would be indecent
• pair of laddered tights
• tiny/useless clutch bag
• a book I have yet to read
• bundle of mismatched socks
• half used jar of moisturiser
• a pound in change
• a screwdriver (?!)
  
• my lost inhaler(bonus)
• 2 pillowcases that don't seem to match any duvet covers we have
• marmite (?)
• four pens - 2 don't work
• 3 magazines
• a flip flop
• 3 earrings without partners
• a James CD cover with no CD inside
• a bag of bills from 3 phone company
• a disgusting coloured lipstick
• a pencil sharpener.
  

Anyway the point is WHY were all these items thrown into one random drawer - invariably, I don't need most of them, so it is mystifying as to why I don't just chuck them out. It's not like there's loads of space for random objects to sit in a drawer that could be used for proper things that other people use them for. Like clothes. Or be like a '50s housewife and have all my linen folded (I'm not taking the piss I've genuinely always admired such clear uses of drawers and such rigid organisation! - I am incapable of that).

So yes, I think I have a "deal with it tomorrow" tendency. Take the dress. I bought it once, for a Christmas party, about four years ago. At the time I liked it. Now, I don't. Nothing wrong with it, it's quite nice, but when you've gained a bit of weight and have decided the length is a bit granny-ish -I really don't know why I didn't spot that at the time - you will naturally put it aside or in a random drawer - not the nearest charity shop bag. I don't know why. It's not like I'm going to change my mind on the length of the dress, for example. But then, I always think I will, i.e. I think that one day I will re-like the dress? I wish I got lent dresses to wear to events, that would be EASY! You wear it once, hand it back, and then you are never in this quandry - you paid £50 for it, so out of guilt you keep it, but then you don't really like it, so it's pointless keeping it....

Well all that aside, I really do need to stop losing things (a passport is a pretty vital lose). So I have decided a brutal approach may be required. Which means my wardrobe is going to decrease by about 70% which Greg will probably be pleased with. God. Who has all those items in a bedroom drawer? It's really bad when you annoy yourself with your general shit-ness at something.

"Friends"?

So I'm getting a little tired of one or two people who claim to be interested in me and my life and yet I hear the grand part of, well, nothing from them for most of the year.

If I receive a wall post, or an email, or a text, or a phonecall, or a voicemail....I reply. An old fashioned notion perhaps, but I'd like to think it's a polite one. Recently, I've contacted a couple of people (because they contacted me first as well!) with a reply, and a question as to how they are...and nothing back. This really gets my goat, especially more so when I didn't even make the contact in the first place.

Oh, I may as well make another list. What annoys me is:

• People who communicate - especially messages - through mutual friends, as though that counts as direct communication. Grow up and make the contact directly.
  
• People who ignore group emails, even if there are only about three people on the group message, and it's pretty personal with individual parts addressed to individual people..and then reply with one line that is irrelevant, or (even worse) a forward that says, "Forward this to sixty two people within the next 3o seconds or you will DIE", that sort of thing.
  
• Similar to the above, people who you hear nothing from all year then you get an email with "Fifty facts about me!" - I don't particularly care about your facts when I don't even know how you are, or where you are living.
• People who expect me to know how they are feeling/what is going on in their lives when they have not made contact?

I guess the point is, if you are friends with someone, you make the effort to be interested and reply, even if it's sporadic and only once or twice a year. Two of my best friends are em and Niamh who I met seven years ago, and only seen three or four times since. We go for months without contact and then will send one drunken text and it's all fine. People who do any of the above - well I guess as we all get older and wiser you realise who it's worth keeping in touch with and who it's not, and you realise time is accelerating at a scary pace...and I suppose you realise that the people who ARE amazing friends are worth ten of the ones that aren't. And that's a very cathartic thing to realise!

You can't really eat what you want..

Just because you have lost a few pounds. They go back on. Straightaway. This weight loss is harder than it should be!

Who commissions these?

Who the f*ck is the marketing director at Lufthansa because I want to punch him hard. If you've heard the advert on the radio you will know what I'm talking about. That kid in the advert will never have any friends and I seriously think he will get badly bullied at school for how much he has hurt people's ears. I also hope he never laughs like that when he is a teenager - no adolescent girl would deign to be seen in public with the possessor of such a horrific laugh.

I complained online to them today regarding the radio advert and how much it offends my ears, and it took me to a German page with no translation option - clearly their website is not "user friendly" for complaints, and so they are trying to dissuade people from complaining - I'm not surprised as they must get a LOT. I hope, if you are currently weighing up the pros and cons of different airlines prior to flying, you will not fly with Lufthansa.

Kid: But WHY are we going on holiday?
Mum (what she should respond): Less of the "we". You are not going on holiday. I, meanwhile, am going to Italy to lie on a beach. You, my son, although it pains me to admit so, are going to hardcore elocution lessons for the week and you are not allowed within my earshot until that disgusting laugh has been eliminated completely. Do I make myself clear?

Now, I might fly with them if I heard that exchange.

Amazing...

How someone thinks it's ok to MUNCH SPICY NIKNAKS NOISILY on packed train.

Phone calls home

Do you ever phone your mum and get the cool response "Oh, hello stranger."

Next time I get that I'm going to blast a hairdryer down the phone or something and shout "oh it's very windy I can't hear you, speak to you another time, bye."

Pacing yourself

So I was at one of my best mate's weddings on Thursday, near Edinburgh in an amazing wee castle. The setting was gorgeous, the weather was too, Emma looked stunning...and we all got royally drunk. I guess this was fairly predictable, partly given that it was an Irish contingent with a few Scottish guests, but even so, I've not been that drunk in ages...the lesson that must be learnt here, is that when your first drink is at 1pm in the hotel getting ready and it's sparkling wine, then you should probably slow down after the ceremony. We didn't. The wine flowed, the beer flowed, the port, the Gin, the whisky, the brandy, the champagne and the wine again. After the meal is a slight blur although I do remember being hurled around the dancefloor by my boyfriend who's not a fan of dancing minus all spirits above. Also remember thinking it was a good idea to sing..it wasn't...and drink wine on the bus back to Edinburgh. It wasn't either. This is a good learning curve for the other wedding we're going to on Saturday. DRINK WATER throughout, or alternatively, don't drink everything you're offered. It's quite nice to remember the whole night your friend got married, including the end, rather than just the odd flashback of screaming Danny Boy on the bus home.

Email abuse

I think it's email abuse for a certain person to send 33 emails within the space of 2 days about one small presentation that is going to happen in over a month's time. But maybe that's just me.

Thin joggers

Surprisingly, I made it round the common last night. There were a lot of joggers out there, but what struck me was how THIN they all are. That might be an obvious thing to say. But they weren't just healthy thin, they were stick thin. If I was stick thin I would certainly not be jogging round the common at all hours of night. I'd be in the pub with a burger and a pint saying to myself, "This might work, I really need to grow some breasts and hips.."

Blocked

Yeah I meant to say yesterday that I have now blocked the said girl from my friend list. Thanks to her boyfriend. Although she was a bit annoying too.

PDAs on facebook

I was on facebook the other day and a girl had made a comment about a baby. Someone had asked if she was pregnant and she said no. Underneath her boyfriend had written "no we are just practising lots and lots and lots!"

So wrong:

1. No one cares.
2. You think people are interested/jealous. They're not.
3. Everyone thinks you're an idiot. Who writes about their sex life on facebook? Idiots do.

Ignorance

So I've seen a few displays of this lately and it made me wonder whether many people react in the same way as I do when I see them, or even if they notice the same displays that I do. I don't know if it is to do with upbringing, schooling, personality or a combination of all of these things - but there are some right ignorant b*ggers out there at the moment. Recent displays (mostly tube-based to be fair) include the following:

• A man eating a Burger King at 8.30am - the carriage was rammed. This is downright wrong, in so many ways?
• A child sitting on a chair on the tube (I actually think it was the same tube) whilst its buggy was next to the chair and the mother was sitting next to the child. The child could have sat either on the buggy or the mother's knee..to make matters worse there was an elderly lady standing next to the buggy. But to some mothers their child deserves hero worship, or at least its own independent adult chair, at the age of 18 months.
• Suitcases on the left hand side of the escalator at rush hour. (Don't visit London if you don't know the rules.)
• A woman remarking loudly "I WILL FALL OVER IN A MINUTE IF YOU KEEP PUSHING ME" on the overland the other morning. Yet somehow she still had enough room for her massive bag on the floor in front of her and also enough room to play one of those electronic mind exercise games. Incidentally, everyone else around her were like sardines but it was worth being a sardine in case you were verbally abused again.
  
• A few people I have spotted leaning against the only pole on the overland train, which is in the centre of the carriage - the only pole that everyone who is standing needs to use. At what point does that individual think "oh goodie, a nice big pole to lean against while everyone else train surfs their way to central London."
• There are also a good few people who launch themselves into the carriage when the doors are shutting. At Waterloo and Westminster this is especially funny (as long as you are not hit by the launchee) because they often get stuck in the double doors. A man with a very red face gothis head stuck the other day and it was ace.

Ah, that's better already.